It happened. Done and done. I thought hitting 40 would be somehow worse than it was, but it was really cool. I spent the weekend surrounded by all the people I love and was reminded again of how damn awesome this life has been so far. There have been a few bumps here and there, but I learned some good lessons and walked out of the fire.
In other sorta related news, basically what happened this weekend was I sorta kicked some anxiety arse...
Backstory: In middle school there was a new girl and when she walked into the room, I knew she was gonna be some sort of awesome. She had on pink Chuck Taylor high-tops and some funky asymetrical hair. She was my people. And she was a lot of awesome. We've remained friends for all these years, and I got to go to Atlanta to help her usher in the next decade at a wonderful surprise party given by her equally amazing husband.
Back to kicking arse: So, since the Great Panic Attack I have only driven about 30 minutes from my house by myself. I can drive any distance as long as someone is in the car with me. What am I afraid of? Everything. I'll have a heart attack and kill someone in the lane beside me. I'll have a flat tire and be abducted/killed/raped by someone on the side of the highway. Rational? Nope, but that's my groove.
Now, I live about 400 miles from Atlanta. You see my problem, yes? I knew others were going, but I didn't want my schedule to hold anyone up from doing what they wanted to do. I decided I might as well just do it. And I did. And it felt good.
I used to make that drive monthly to visit my aunt, Wanda, when she lived there. I would grab a Mountain Dew (did I really ever drink those?!), a pack of Camel Lights (sorry, parents), and a bunch of CDs and just hit the road. I'd forgotten how liberating it was to just drive with the sunroof open. I knew exactly how far I was from Atlanta based on the curve of the roads because I had driven them so many times over the years. Like a glove, baby...
Here's what I came home with...
1. My car likes to go 80 miles an hour...no matter how hard I try...Thank God for cruise control!
2. Some songs will take you back...Ludacris, Indigo Girls, Scott Miller, Beck, and Urban Dance Squad serenaded me all 400 miles.
3. Old friends are the best friends in many ways because they knew you way back when and still love you.
4. Turning 40 is about me...just me. It's just about the most liberating feeling I've had in quite some time.
5. I can do it...whatever it is. If I can make that drive, no matter how silly that seems to someone else, I can do just about anydamnthing.
Choose happiness, people. Visit people you love. Surround yourself with those who make you laugh and don't cause you grief. Live life. Go rock your universe this week.
|You know...it's not that long until my NEXT birthday...In case you're thinking about a gift for me!|