May 26, 2012

THAT Moment...Reclaimed Youth

I always giggle at my parents when they tell me they are going to see some music group from their generation.  The other evening I drove past a venue here in our wee town and Blood, Sweat and Tears was playing. I could only think of how drastically things have changed since their heyday...Less sparkles and more AARP. (Note that I totally dig on them, but my soul is old that way.)

Love the people who highjacked our pic!
Yesterday I joined their ranks.  I became that person who ventured out to see a band from my youth.  And it rocked.   Age ain't got nothin' on us.

I was so, so young and naive when I bought their first studio album.  Back then, there were brick-and-mortar record stores; none of this online business.  The guy working the counter asked me to describe their music, and I couldn't manage to put them into a box.  I still can't put them into a box.

Once there was a boy I loved in a strange and weird way.  He was gone way too soon for my liking.  I remember riding around listening to Jane's Addiction with him and talking about all those oh-so-important things we talk about when we are young and unjaded, but think the world is out to get us.  Those moments are tucked away, wrapped in the years that have passed and softened by time. Sometimes I still dig them up, picking away at the scabs left, and wish for one more conversation.  

Last night was an amazing show.  It was partly because I felt young and alive again, but it was also the fact that Jane's is a show.  The lights were fantastic, although the strobes kill me a little now.  There were corseted ladies dangling from the ceiling with hoop skirts at least 20 feet long; a stuffed bear on his hindlegs was on stage; a barber was set up in the lobby along with a tattoo artist.  They have a knack for combining the misfits into a spectacular moment in time.

Oh, Perry, you have no idea....much love.

When it was over, I came home and knew for that split second where I fit.  I had the fleeting thought early in the evening that I shouldn't be there; I should be home with my children being a respectable mom and wife.  I mean, real moms...good moms...didn't traipse off into the night to go chase down their youth, right? Then I realized part of being a good mom is sharing music with my kids.  The first albums I owned were Cream, the Doors, and Jimi Hendrix.  Imagine if my daddy had tried to hide his music from me...a very sad state of affairs, indeed.

The only moment I missed was them not playing my ultimate song, I Would For You. I wanted to sing it with all the breath in my body and all the unspoken words in my soul.  I wanted the heavens and those in it to know that I would've for you.  If you wondered ...what I would...I would do anything if I could...You know I would.

May 24, 2012

My Karma Needs A Shot Of Happy

I must have done something really, really seriously bad in a previous life.  I'm not sure which one, but I must've made quite the impression...and it wasn't the one I needed to make.

You know those women who post those oh-so-perfect pics of their children?   The ones shot by a professional photographer?  Or the ones of the kids "just being kids" and yet they're all so damn cute you feel like a sugar rod was crammed down your throat?  They blog on homemade foods and monogrammed sheets and spiritual journeys.  They find joy in every freaking moment of their day. Today I was the opposite of that.  Opposite doesn't even do it justice...I was the antithesis of that.

My morning actually started last night.  I noticed a slight red streak on my finger which began throbbing shortly thereafter.  The pain passed but there was still some redness.  Fast-forward to this morning.

I woke up to the announcement from my Better Half that he was, indeed, ill and would not be going to work.  Matter of fact, he was sick enough that he might go to the doctor.  Well, not if I don't beat him there.  The finger?  Still a wee swollen and red, but sore and definitely tingly.  So, let's get this party started.

Just to break it down, here's what followed.

Dropped Baby Girl, aka Hurricane, off at daycare.  She cried and hid behind my leg till I pried her away.  Went to doc and got said finger inspected.  Apparently it's being treated as a major infection.  How major?  Stomach-wrenching Augmentin for 10 days.  The upside is my insides should be fairly clean in a short period of time.  Came home and got the Bigs for our trip to the dentist.  Teeth cleaned and no cavities...SCORE! 

We made a pit stop at the mall for lunch and some shorts.  Things go well other than a short span of tears when I apparently went to the shops in the wrong order.  I didn't know there was a pre-planned order, but I guess so.  From here, it was off to get my wig did.

So, the wig...I love, love, love the girl who does my hair.  She is phenomenal in so many ways.  I know that more than ever because we spent lots of quality time together today.  My hair is now the perfect shade of brown/black with purple highlights...but the first time it was copper...and the second time it was copper-red. While both were okay (alright, the first one sucked beyond suckiness), it wasn't my vision.  Now it is...minus the discussion about how my hair is thinning in the front and we don't know why.  I'm a medical mystery, dude.

After Round One, Round Two, and Round Three of Hair, I stopped by the grocery store to grab some milk and yogurt (to replace all the shit being killed by my super dose of Augmentin).  Did I mention I have low blood pressure?  All this sitting to attain my perfect hair color did a number on me and I just about kissed the floor of the grocery store in the dairy aisle.  I was also partially deaf except for the whooshing sound of the blood pounding through my brain and my heart thought it was 1992 and we were raving with glowsticks.  

After I could hear and my heart took a moment to relax, we headed home where we found Better Half did indeed go to the doctor.   Conclusion:  Bronchitis.  Suhwheett!  Now we can be on antibiotics together!  The couple that diarrheas together, stays together!

Next up, Baby Girl runs through the field to the neighbor's without shoes while I chase her.  Shoes aren't so important except for sticker plants and, oh, ticks.  She makes it safely only to get kicked in the face by the neighbor.  Nice.

We decided ice cream would make things better at least for the moment.  In a loving, family moment, one kid calls the other fat and tears ensue.  We head home where the one kid goes to bed for the night and the others commence to running amok.  The oldest is then telling me how bored she is and the baby girl is busy screaming, "NO!!" at me for basically anything I say.  I'm tellin' ya, this is the life.

It is now late.  Better Half has a temperature, but the kids are all asleep.  I'm not sure where one is sleeping, but I know he is inside somewhere.  Tomorrow I will wake and start again.  I will make a call to the doctor to see if my thyroid is misbehaving, then I'm heading out with some girlfriends to do some much-needed relaxation and a concert.

I usually have some positive spin/twist to put on the chaos that is my life, but tonight?  I got nothin.  Nada, nihil, zip.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for all that I have..but sometimes I need a break from all that I have so I can appreciate it.  Tomorrow=Mommy Time!

May 15, 2012

Why I Hate People and You Should, Too
I realized something today. Actually, it was more reminded of something.  When I had to choose vanilla or chocolate ice cream, I picked vanilla. I am vanilla.  I am boring.  It's okay; I'm embracing it.  I will never be the one to go sky-diving. You can hardly get me in an elevator.  I will never travel to remote parts of the Earth because I don't even like to leave my own small town. I live vicariously through all the other insane people in my's all good.

Stirring people up is not a strength of mine.  I don't pick verbal fights with other people because I don't know that I would win.  Granted, my tongue is a touch acerbic at times; however, as we get older, I realize being a smart-ass doesn't always win the argument.  Some people actually use KNOWLEDGE to prove their point.  Who woulda thunk it?

So, I'm vanilla and I don't like agitating the why do I hate people?

I'm so, so over the polarizing of humanity.
I hate Democrats for assuming all Republicans are heartless, batshit crazy religious nuts who want to deprive every human of any personal freedom.  I'm tired of them yelling about how it's treasonous to disapprove of the President.  I'm beyond over trying to scare the barely-18 voting set into being a democrat for all the wrong reasons.

I hate Republicans for assuming all Democrats all freaky liberals who want to spend everyone else's money on their pet causes.  I'm tired of them questioning the birth certificate of the President.  I'm beyond over them trying to scare voters with religion and "what is our world coming to?" propaganda.  

It's not that simple.  There are principles on both sides that make sense.  I don't want anyone imposing their morals on my life, so why should I do that to someone else?  At the same time, basic economic principles dictate your output can't be larger than your input. Not rocket science, right?

At this point I can't even have rational conversations with people relating to government.  Used to, people would argue every four years, then go back to playing nice until the next election. Not so anymore.  I don't even dare go near anything political because it's fraught with peril.  Therein lies the danger.

If we can't have open discourse with people whose views vary from our own, we will never learn anything.  Sometimes you have to open your mind, no matter how set it is, and think about what the other side has to say.  You may walk away and still think they're whacked out.  But...You might find some merit in what they are saying.  You might find something that jives more than what you currently believe.  It might be different than what you were raised to believe, but that's okay.  If we didn't try to learn and grow, the Earth would still be flat and at the center of the Universe.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not running through a field of daisies with my peace flag dripping of patchouli.  I understand there are times when you can't just hug and sing kumbaya.  You can't not work or contribute to society and then whine about taking care of our brothers and sisters.  Our society requires everyone to contribute if we want it to thrive, but there has to be a happy medium.  There has to be a way to care about each other without all this bickering.  There just has to be.  

Maybe I don't hate people.  Maybe I hate the monsters we become when someone disagrees with us.  Alas, you probably shouldn't hate people, either.