May 16, 2011

Routines, I tell ya, ROUTINES!!

"Change, shit, I guess change is good for any of us."  Tupac

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....I'm not a fan of change. Matter of fact, I think I kinda hate it.  I like routines and things that always happen the same way.  The downside of that is then I get bored and have to change up the routine a little bit.  But it's still a routine.  I know it's good for us; I mean, c'mon, Tupac said so. Anybody remember that movie "Poetic Justice" with him and Janet Jackson. Man, I loved that movie.

Last night the Better Half got the whole famdamily in the car and took us for a ride. He said he felt like we should be doing something since we were all home on a Friday night, so that's what our something was.  Suits me fine because I love pointless rides in the car.  We headed out and eventually drove through a new development we'd looked at for maybe building one day.  I wanted to freeze that moment in time.  The air was fresh from rain with a breeze, the kids were actually getting along in the backseat, and it was just nice.  That's why I don't care for change...I like those nice moments and I want them on a constant loop for eternity.

 I get that change is a certain part of life, "like death and taxes."  I guess the part of change I hate is the hurt it causes.  Loved ones leave us, friendships fall apart...those sucky things that are inevitably part of life.  I wish for those rare moments in time when all my friends are happy, truly happy, in their lives; when my children are innocent and soaking up life's offerings; when my husband is tucked beside me watching the Braves...These are the moments I love, not the yucky, painful, hurtful, sad moments.

Where you find yourself, though, is often tied to those moments when change whacks you in the face just to see if you really, I mean REALLY, know just who the hell you are.  And you learn how strong you truly are, even though you may have thought you didn't have it in you.  You learn that sometimes your best friend is the one who lets you fall, not the one who is constantly telling you how to live your life.  It's facing the truth of life and making that change because you have to if you're ever going to have a bite of happiness. 

Maybe I'll try to be more accepting of it one day.  We're fairly certain the house is sold, so there is a big, fat experiment just waiting on me.  But like it?  Nah, not gonna happen.

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