I Gave Birth To The Second Grade Playa

Remember that post "Please Stay Small" I wrote a few days ago.  Today was another reminder of why he needs to stay small.


He has a girlfriend.  It is not his first.  After all, he is eight-and-a-half years old.  There is water under that bridge, ya know?  But.  He got digits for this one.  Apparently he plans on calling and chatting her up.  


This was our conversation in the car.


Me:  "How was your day, sweetpea?"  (Cause he'll always be my sweetpea)
Him:  "Great! I got my girlfriend's phone number."
Me:  Silence
Him:  "So, can I call her?"
Me:  Silence
Him:  "Hey, um, mom? Can I call her?  I have her dad's number and her mom's." 
Me:  "So, what do you plan on talking about to your second-grade girlfriend?"
Him:  "Well, ya know...stuff?"
Me:  "Okay, elaborate on that one please."
Him:  "Mom, it's just random conversation, okay?!  I mean, really, do you not watch the movies?  Men and ladies just talk about stuff." 
Me:  "Well, it's been a while since I've been courted by someone as worldly as you.  Forgive me."
Him:  "Mom, you really need to watch some more romantic movies to see how it's done these days."

Did you get the part where I said he was EIGHT?!  I'm not a fortune teller, but I see many long days and nights ahead...full of phone calls from angry daddies and buckets of tears from me.  Imagine 16....God help me.