Please Stay Small...

I suppose I should know it happens.  All of my babies will grow up.  It will happen one night while I am sleeping, and I will wake to humans who aren't quite as enamored with me as these babes are right now.  


I noticed one of my students had shaved recently.  They are at the age where some do once a week, and others are on the verge.  It's a tough age, to be sure.  I had one of those epiphany moments where I realized one day, not too far away, that will be my son.  And my heart broke.


I expect my girls to grow up.  I know how that process works.  I know what struggles they will endure as girls maturing into women.  I know the doubt and fear they will face, the tears they will cry.  I know that shit.  


I don't want my boy to grow up.  Not that I'm one of those weird moms who won't let him marry or move out; I'm not.  I will miss terribly having those sweet little arms wrapped around my neck.  Feeling his bony butt cutting into my legs when he climbs into my lap.  Listening to him breathe when he naps beside me.  I will miss his innocence and openness.


Maybe I know my girls will always hug me with that same sweet heart as they do now.  I know one day my boy won't do that.  It won't be cool...It'll be weird to hug and kiss your mommy.  I'll let him go be a big boy, and my heart will swell with pride as I watch him grow into the wonderful young man I know he will become.  


So, dear boy, if one day you stumble across your mom's blog, take a moment to linger and give me another one of those sweet, little boy hugs.  Wrap your arms around my neck, put your cheek to mine, and let me hold you for just a minute longer.