Okay, I'm at a birthday party and someone hands me the mic. What words spew out?
This sorta happened once at the birthday party where I fell madly in love with my husband, except he wasn't my husband at the time. Obviously, because I'd (hopefully) already be in love with him, right?
The dj played a game where two guests faced off. The dj would say a letter from the alphabet and each person had to say a band's name that started with that letter. If both guests could name a band, they went to the next round. First person who couldn't come up with a name lost the game.
I got picked. Of course. I stood in front of all these people, some of whom were my parents' friends, but more importantly the cutie I was a little hot for, and played my heart out because I am competitive and I didn't care if it was a stupid game, I came to WIN!
The letter I won on? D. Wait, you knew that I'd win, right? The band? Dead Kennedys. The look of bewilderment on my opponent's face was photo-worthy. I'm not sure if the dj even knew this was really a band, but he held my hand high in victory.
But, I digress. Eden needs words today. Here are mine...what I'd say if I got the mic.
"It may have been in pieces, but I gave you the best of me."
~ Jim Morrison.
I loved, idolized, worshiped Jim Morrison as a kid. One of my first albums was The Doors Strange Days (thanks, Daddy!) I was in second grade, and I was bad-ass. I read his biography years later and a poetry book of his. I loaned that book to someone in high school and I never saw it again. Asshole.
There are times when I can only give the best of me in small amounts. Sometimes I have to tuck my tail under and go hide from the world for a bit. Sometimes I've given all I've got to someone else who needed it more. Sometimes I have to give my best to me. Sometimes I'm just selfish and hoard it because I think you don't deserve it. Sometimes I want to give you every ounce of my soul and smother you with the best of me.
When this world is over, I will have given you the best I have. It might have been laced with the worst of me, but I hope there will be more good than bad. I hope the best is enough to make you walk through this life with me so that the sum of my giving makes up for my periods of selfishness. It may be in pieces, but you will get the best I've got to give. Promise.