March 13, 2012

Letting Go and Being Free

Once, a wise lady to whom I paid a lot of my money (read: my therapist) told me I should pray for a particular person in my life.  Now, this was strange for two reasons.  One, we'd never really discussed religion before, so I could have been an atheist or satan-worshipper.  Two, the only prayer I had for this person at that time was probably not the kind of things God likes to hear.  Things like flaming car crashes and broken bones.  I think God frowns on that and generally files those prayers under "UNANSWERED".


So, needless to say, I didn't pray.  I tried once and it felt unnatural and forced and creepy.


Life is a comical thing, though.  


A recent conversation flooded my brain and made me wonder if I was carrying around waayyyy too much animosity toward this person.  Why would I carry it this long?  Why did I think it would matter?  How do you let it go? You just let. it. go.  Quack, quack, water off my back.  That easy, it was gone.


I called this person later and told him I hoped he'd find happiness one day.  I told him I thought he deserved to be happy.  Strangely, after wishing so much ill upon him for so long, I meant what I'd said. I gave him my opinion and wished him well.  My heart is happy for the possibilities he has.


I'm not a hippie chick.  I don't flash peace signs and think we should all live on a big ol' commune.  I think shaving and bathing are really, really important.  (Yes, I'm aware peace signs are back in style and I'm using stereotypes.)  I didn't wake up to sunshine and doves singing.  Somehow, though, I'm lighter. 


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It has often been said that hating someone only poisons your own heart. I believe it.  Spending so much energy in a negative way doesn't allow you to enjoy the happiness right in front of you.  Let it go, people...just let. it. go.  Quack, quack!

3 comments:

  1. In the Church-I-Left, it was preached constantly that forgiveness does NOT mean saying 'you were right and I should be happy about it.'
    It means, I'm choosing to let go of this. And it's amazing how forgiveness frees you up. Bearing a grudge or ill-will toward someone else can even contribute to physical illness in your own body (makes sense if you think about all the chemicals you release when you're angry or unhappy).
    I'm so glad for you that you were able to let this go, and I hope you see some incredible results from it. x

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Toni. I've always thought that the toxic effects of hatred applied to other people, but not so much to myself! I have that problem a lot!

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  2. This might be my favorite so far!

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