March 18, 2011

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Home (Actually 3, but ya know...)

I am a lover of lists...but now that I think about it, I never really cross anything off. I make them and then leave them at home or shove them into my purse.  Really they serve no purpose at all in my life other than making me feel like I'm totally accomplishing something. Now I realize I'm not because I waste time making a list I never use in the first place.

Today, though, I have a list of three things that happened on my daily 30 minute commute home.  To some it may not be funny, but I laughed my arse off.  Here it is.

(1) Passed a wreck on the way home. (That's not funny, I know, but it was a non-injury accident so quit thinking I'm an ass.)  The funny part was the man who had driven/rode about 1/2 mile up the road on his Hoveround to check out the goins' on.  Even better? He actually had to cross railroad tracks to get to his vantage point. Really? Isn't there a Jerry Springer show on?

(2)  Immediately after passing Mr. Hoveround, I passed a guy out for a ride on his motorcycle.  Made sense because today was an amazingly beautiful day.  What I failed to understand was the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  It would be different if I hadn't been the passenger on a motorcycle a time or twenty. (That's a whole different chapter that will be shared one day in its hilarity.) You can't really smoke a cigarette at 60 mph on a motorcycle.  Maybe it was his way of reinforcing the idea he's a bad ass.  I'm sure the lovely lady riding with him loved the ashes flying in her face.

(3)  This may not apply to anyone who didn't survive the "All About the Benjamins" era of music.  I was listening to the radio, and heard Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/Puffy/P.Diddy/Diddy's new song, but I didn't realize it was a new song because it sounded just like every other song he's ever done.  Is there any song he's done that doesn't lament how much he misses Biggie?  I know you love him. Now, thanks to those philosophical lyrics of yours, I know you'd have taken the bullet for him.  Very kind of you.

I arrived home in one piece with my belly hurting from laughing, and then I got to go hang out with some stellar friends to work on our elementary school's spring fundraiser. We were working diligently on a disco ball.  It was so amazingly good that one young, astute child walked through the stage area and said, "What's the wrecking ball for?" I will never understand how he confused an oversized beachball covered in aluminum foil, glitter, and silver stars as a wrecking ball.  Maybe that's four funny things?!

Enjoy the weekend!

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